I think one of the most difficult things about illness is waking up each day, and the first thing that comes to your mind is, what will the body allow me to do today. I know it must be wonderful to not have to ask that question, to simply wake up, roll over, get out of bed with no twinge, ache, wobbly feeling......the alarm goes off, you smell the coffee brewing, and you head for the shower. Ah yes.....the start of another glorious day. It all sounds completely normal right? And it should, and I do oddly enough remember feeling like that at one time in my life, but that was then, and this is now. I am very grateful for those days, and often wish I could get them back, but this is my life now, and there is much to be grateful for when life is not so perfect.
Now something that might be helpful at this point, is to remember that a part of this is simply the aging process.....period....plain and simple. There comes a time when part of those things you experience as you wake up in the morning are completely normal, and to be expected if you're past 60. And you can wish, dream, hope, or wear yourself out trying to set the clock back, but after a while it will take a toll on your body. Even when we all pretty much understand those things we can do to keep the body healthy, you can't stop time, nor even predict when and where your body is going to develop problems, so it basically boils down to how you plan to accept this and find peace with exactly where you are at any given time physically.
Unfortunately, the world we live in currently, tells you that aging is not a good thing, and you must spend lots of money and time in not allowing yourself to get any older. And even to a degree is not very forgiving with those that are enduring a genetic predisposition to something that cannot be changed. I will say this quickly, in that it is very sad to me that life really is so short, and so much of that time is spent reacting, responding or dealing with what other people think about us. It's like carrying around a sack of rocks that weighs us down, and for what reason.......how other people see us? OK....so I got that out.
So my point here is, and I sometimes take a bit to reach it.......is that we ALL wake up to that clock, we all are faced with varying degrees of health, stress, loss, fear, sadness, limitations, and all of us as well have the capacity to feel the complete opposite. Happiness, joy, peace, love, contentment, well being, compassion.......the list could go on and on, and the more I type it, the more I want to feel the good stuff everyday. However........there are going to be days, maybe few, maybe many, where through no fault of your own are simply going to have to be good enough, no matter. No matter how I wake up, what the body says or dictates, how it looks when I flip the light on in the morning, or what my age happens to be......this is in fact my reality for the day and I can choose how I'm going to think about it, without any notions of what someone else thinks about me at all.
You might want to ask yourself each morning, no matter how you feel, how would it change my life if I chose to see it in a different way today? If you are in fact younger, fit, and off and running, then wonderful. Be mindful of how fortunate you are to still be those things and pass on the joy and contentment you feel to those around you. But, if you are not, it is perfectly acceptable to see reality in the mirror, notice the aches and pains or limitations, and still be OK inside your head. There are in fact ways to find peace and joy even with a body that simply doesn't work so well anymore, or a face that has aged considerably. It's perfectly fine to believe that ........this is in fact good enough.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Bad Days
I know...I hate to even write those words, but if I'm going to attempt to help others incorporate coping skills to deal with pain and suffering, then I feel I must also be helpful on those days when nothing helps, and it's just you and your suffering. Of course realizing that physical suffering comes in many ways including the emotional wear and tear, which often can far outweigh the physical. Something happens to the mind when the body has been compromised, plain and simple. I was going to elaborate there, but I can't. And for those who are reading this and are suffering physically, then you know exactly why I can't, for it's beyond explanation, so I will leave it at that. Just suffice it to say, on my worst days, it has felt like I was a dog in a dried up ditch, left for dead. That's pretty sad, but it's the truth. I have absolutely nothing to offer up to anyone, and often not sure if I ever will again because the body is completely overwhelmed by my condition.
On those unfortunate bad days, I feel like I need a guide attached to my belt to drag me around and get the simple things done for the day. The mind goes into a vegetative state, and I'm hoping that no one calls or comes to my door for any reason, for nothing would come out of my mouth except some foreign gibberish. My body is on a timer, with very little time to work with, where an alarm could go off at any moment, sending me back to bed, which I fight as long as I can, but in the end the body and the bed wins. Defeated.
I immediately start gathering those things I can do in bed, hoping that throughout the day I would be able to accomplish something, if only a few encouraging emails for others who are having trouble. Carefully choosing different books, journals, CD's,.......whatever will keep my mind busy while I spend the day in bed. Take into consideration this is not how I prefer to spend my day, but how my body needs to spend the day. I guess the most important part of this whole thing is allowing my body to do whatever it needs to do in order to feel better, just for that day. Doesn't mean it has to be the same the next day...or even next week......but for today, this is what I need to do for myself.
The point is......the most important part of dealing with a physical condition, especially where pain is involved, is to simply allow your body to be how it needs to be. If you're doing all you can, pulling out the arsenal of gadgets, pills, books, creams, whatever, and there is no real relief, then you simply have to be OK with stopping for that day. Hopefully tomorrow will be different, but for today, this is how I need to nurture and care for my body. There is no need to figure out why, for trying to figure out makes the situation worse......but just be with the bad day...period. You don't have to explain why to anyone, especially yourself, or frantically try to fix it, or get down about it. Sometimes pain is just that.....pain, and the only thing you can do it minimize it without beating yourself up about it. Or allowing those around you to question or judge how you choose to deal with it. Sometime those around us, even those that love us the most question how we deal with a physical condition.
So the next time you are faced with a bad day, where you can barely find your way around your house, just stop and see what your body needs you to do, then do it. Let go of expectations, shut the phone off, gather those things that make you feel better emotionally, take a deep breath and just stop and be kind to your body for the day. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but if it's not, then decide when it comes what you can do to make it more manageable.
On those unfortunate bad days, I feel like I need a guide attached to my belt to drag me around and get the simple things done for the day. The mind goes into a vegetative state, and I'm hoping that no one calls or comes to my door for any reason, for nothing would come out of my mouth except some foreign gibberish. My body is on a timer, with very little time to work with, where an alarm could go off at any moment, sending me back to bed, which I fight as long as I can, but in the end the body and the bed wins. Defeated.
I immediately start gathering those things I can do in bed, hoping that throughout the day I would be able to accomplish something, if only a few encouraging emails for others who are having trouble. Carefully choosing different books, journals, CD's,.......whatever will keep my mind busy while I spend the day in bed. Take into consideration this is not how I prefer to spend my day, but how my body needs to spend the day. I guess the most important part of this whole thing is allowing my body to do whatever it needs to do in order to feel better, just for that day. Doesn't mean it has to be the same the next day...or even next week......but for today, this is what I need to do for myself.
The point is......the most important part of dealing with a physical condition, especially where pain is involved, is to simply allow your body to be how it needs to be. If you're doing all you can, pulling out the arsenal of gadgets, pills, books, creams, whatever, and there is no real relief, then you simply have to be OK with stopping for that day. Hopefully tomorrow will be different, but for today, this is how I need to nurture and care for my body. There is no need to figure out why, for trying to figure out makes the situation worse......but just be with the bad day...period. You don't have to explain why to anyone, especially yourself, or frantically try to fix it, or get down about it. Sometimes pain is just that.....pain, and the only thing you can do it minimize it without beating yourself up about it. Or allowing those around you to question or judge how you choose to deal with it. Sometime those around us, even those that love us the most question how we deal with a physical condition.
So the next time you are faced with a bad day, where you can barely find your way around your house, just stop and see what your body needs you to do, then do it. Let go of expectations, shut the phone off, gather those things that make you feel better emotionally, take a deep breath and just stop and be kind to your body for the day. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but if it's not, then decide when it comes what you can do to make it more manageable.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
The Breath
The thing we probably notice the least in our body, but can have the biggest impact if you pay more attention to how it changes so many different things if done correctly. I'm sure you're thinking what possible difference can it make to pay attention to your breathing, but if you take just a moment and breathe in, then let it out fully, you'll see what I'm talking about. Now if you have a condition that involves your heart or lungs, or if you have a cold or cough, you may have a hard time with this, but who knows, maybe it will help in some way. I don't think there is any time when taking some deep breaths will harm you.
Why talk about breathing, when there isn't much you can change....you're either breathing or you aren't. But it's not exactly true, for when you start to pay attention to how you are breathing, and do it correctly, it can offer physiological changes. These changes can help with pain, inflammation, side effects from chemo or other medications, even help with pre op, as well as post op procedures. Proper breathing can relax and open the body, which allows it to function better, especially when under stress. We're always taught how important it is to drink plenty of water to keep hydrated, keep the kidneys and bowels moving probably, but not as much about breathing. I myself learned many years ago how important the breath is, so it's a major part of my daily routine, especially when trying to lower my pain level, or when having a restless night and can't sleep.
My first experience with the breath was realized when I went through bio-feedback therapy in the early 80's, where a doctor hooks you up to a computer which measures your bodies reaction to stressful situations. I was asked to add numbers, which was always very stressful for me in school, so it was the perfect way to test me out. It didn't take long to see clearly how my heart rate and BP would rise when asked to add or subtract large numbers, and then see how with new breathing techniques and relaxation skills, calm the body down to a more peaceful state. Now I no longer do the bio feedback, though you can find people who still do this, I found relaxation and guided imagery CD's that work better for me at home. Someone is verbally guiding you through breathing and relaxation exercises that slow your breathing, and allow the body to rest completely, and promote healing, or just a sense of well being.
When you're experiencing pain in particular, it's very easy to get locked up physically trying to hold the pain away from you, but actually it makes the pain worse because you're so focused on just getting the pain to stop. And what I find is when the pain gets bad, I tend to stop breathing properly. Normal breaths turn into short, shallow breathing, which is not how our bodies are meant to take in oxygen. So when the pain hits, that's the first line of thinking, change my breathing. Then the breathing helps me to relax the body, therefore easing the pain. Now granted I may still have to take medication for it, depending on the level, but the breathing helps until relief comes.
So for me, the breath is such an important part of what keeps me calm, especially in stressful situations, lessens the pain when it hits, and offers me a more peaceful way of being. It can also minimize side effects of medications, so you can stick with it longer while the body adjusts. And when you have no other choice except to take certain medications, it's nice to find ways that pave the way to healing on some level.
Breathing is the easiest........you can take it anywhere, use it anytime, and best of all.....it's free. All it takes is a few lessons on when and how you want to incorporate it throughout your day, and reap the benefits.
Go ahead.....take a deep breath...........and let it out.
Why talk about breathing, when there isn't much you can change....you're either breathing or you aren't. But it's not exactly true, for when you start to pay attention to how you are breathing, and do it correctly, it can offer physiological changes. These changes can help with pain, inflammation, side effects from chemo or other medications, even help with pre op, as well as post op procedures. Proper breathing can relax and open the body, which allows it to function better, especially when under stress. We're always taught how important it is to drink plenty of water to keep hydrated, keep the kidneys and bowels moving probably, but not as much about breathing. I myself learned many years ago how important the breath is, so it's a major part of my daily routine, especially when trying to lower my pain level, or when having a restless night and can't sleep.
My first experience with the breath was realized when I went through bio-feedback therapy in the early 80's, where a doctor hooks you up to a computer which measures your bodies reaction to stressful situations. I was asked to add numbers, which was always very stressful for me in school, so it was the perfect way to test me out. It didn't take long to see clearly how my heart rate and BP would rise when asked to add or subtract large numbers, and then see how with new breathing techniques and relaxation skills, calm the body down to a more peaceful state. Now I no longer do the bio feedback, though you can find people who still do this, I found relaxation and guided imagery CD's that work better for me at home. Someone is verbally guiding you through breathing and relaxation exercises that slow your breathing, and allow the body to rest completely, and promote healing, or just a sense of well being.
When you're experiencing pain in particular, it's very easy to get locked up physically trying to hold the pain away from you, but actually it makes the pain worse because you're so focused on just getting the pain to stop. And what I find is when the pain gets bad, I tend to stop breathing properly. Normal breaths turn into short, shallow breathing, which is not how our bodies are meant to take in oxygen. So when the pain hits, that's the first line of thinking, change my breathing. Then the breathing helps me to relax the body, therefore easing the pain. Now granted I may still have to take medication for it, depending on the level, but the breathing helps until relief comes.
So for me, the breath is such an important part of what keeps me calm, especially in stressful situations, lessens the pain when it hits, and offers me a more peaceful way of being. It can also minimize side effects of medications, so you can stick with it longer while the body adjusts. And when you have no other choice except to take certain medications, it's nice to find ways that pave the way to healing on some level.
Breathing is the easiest........you can take it anywhere, use it anytime, and best of all.....it's free. All it takes is a few lessons on when and how you want to incorporate it throughout your day, and reap the benefits.
Go ahead.....take a deep breath...........and let it out.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
What The Body Needs
The million dollar question with those who are suffering physically, but desperately needs to be answered. Trust me, I've been dealing with my issues for years now, and it seems to come down to that each day......me asking the body, what do you need today? And I'm not talking what it wants......but what it needs to simply function as well as possible. Sometimes it responds quickly, in slow motion, and a shakiness from the bed to the bathroom, and maybe after a bit will iron itself out, but maybe not. That's the point....I never know. Ambiguity.....don't you just love it? If we can count on one thing in this world, it's the fact that we simply don't know all there is to know at any given moment. But when talking about this one particular moment of what my body would allow me to do that day, it could set the pace for the whole day if in fact the answer was no. Well, the body may be OK with the answer, but I wouldn't be in the mind and heart. After all, the body was meant to move right? So what could be right about staying put for the day?
One thing that has helped me more than anything over the years, is realizing that there are SO many people in the world, in my town, in my neighborhood, even living next door to me, that are going through something. May be less than or more than what I wake up with, but it doesn't matter. It's felt, and it's felt deeply for each person, which makes sense since we are all completely different, just as our bodies and faces are all different, so is how we experience things. If someone could get that lit up somewhere, the world would be a different place for sure. So with knowing that someone else is suffering, how does that make my situation any easier to bear?
Well, I think it makes us feel more human, and a little less abandoned when we realize someone else is suffering right along with us. We don't even have to know their name or what they're suffering from, just that someone might relate or understand how I'm feeling. And let's face it, we all know someone that is challenged in some way, dealing with an illness, recently had surgery, not to mention those who are going through a divorce, just lost their job, lost a relative.....the list goes on and on. The point is you wouldn't have to go far to find someone who could use some encouraging words, or a nice card, just some gesture that might lift their spirits.
Right, but we were talking about the body and what it needs. But don't you see, that's part of giving the body what it needs, by giving to someone else actually has a healing effect on you as well as them. So it's like this automatic return that happens, which sounds pretty good to me. It is SO easy to get caught up and settle into your own stuff, no matter what it is, which closes the door for healing of any kind actually. If I'm going to be in pain or suffer in some way, I'd rather it have a purpose besides making me miserable.
So the next time you start your day, noticing that you're body is not going to cooperate with you, and nothing works in making it feel better, try something different this time. Think about someone you know who is having a hard time, with whatever, and give them a call, or send an email or even a hand written note or letter, just to let them know you are thinking about them. I promise at the least, you will change someone's outlook for the day, you will bring a smile, and offer healing you never thought was possible in the midst of your own suffering.
One thing that has helped me more than anything over the years, is realizing that there are SO many people in the world, in my town, in my neighborhood, even living next door to me, that are going through something. May be less than or more than what I wake up with, but it doesn't matter. It's felt, and it's felt deeply for each person, which makes sense since we are all completely different, just as our bodies and faces are all different, so is how we experience things. If someone could get that lit up somewhere, the world would be a different place for sure. So with knowing that someone else is suffering, how does that make my situation any easier to bear?
Well, I think it makes us feel more human, and a little less abandoned when we realize someone else is suffering right along with us. We don't even have to know their name or what they're suffering from, just that someone might relate or understand how I'm feeling. And let's face it, we all know someone that is challenged in some way, dealing with an illness, recently had surgery, not to mention those who are going through a divorce, just lost their job, lost a relative.....the list goes on and on. The point is you wouldn't have to go far to find someone who could use some encouraging words, or a nice card, just some gesture that might lift their spirits.
Right, but we were talking about the body and what it needs. But don't you see, that's part of giving the body what it needs, by giving to someone else actually has a healing effect on you as well as them. So it's like this automatic return that happens, which sounds pretty good to me. It is SO easy to get caught up and settle into your own stuff, no matter what it is, which closes the door for healing of any kind actually. If I'm going to be in pain or suffer in some way, I'd rather it have a purpose besides making me miserable.
So the next time you start your day, noticing that you're body is not going to cooperate with you, and nothing works in making it feel better, try something different this time. Think about someone you know who is having a hard time, with whatever, and give them a call, or send an email or even a hand written note or letter, just to let them know you are thinking about them. I promise at the least, you will change someone's outlook for the day, you will bring a smile, and offer healing you never thought was possible in the midst of your own suffering.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Easily Discouraged
One of the most difficult things about dealing with a chronic illness is getting easily discouraged on those bad days when you wake up and can tell things are going to be off a bit......well maybe more than usual. Sleep is a huge issue for me, or the lack there of, the weather, what I did the day before, or something new that's come up in my life. For me, it's usually all of the above, but I have to say it doesn't happen every single day. More like varying degrees I suppose where I never know when it's going to hit. But one of the most important lessons I learned years ago was, even with those off days, and I require a little more care, I try not to get discouraged thinking that it's going to last a long time. Now granted, I have had my times, as I'm sure you all have, where it did run into a bad flareup of some kind, and it would take time to get over, but even then I would try to not dwell on why it happened or how long it would take to recover.
Now remember, this frame of mind took years for me to grasp, while at the same time incorporating new modes of therapy......basically whatever I could get my hands on. So it's not something you can just tell yourself to get over, and then get over it. It's a daily decision to take note about how you felt the day before, if you slept, and how you are currently feeling. And of course more importantly, what you need to do to get through the day to make it better, or at the very least, ease the pain and suffering. This can be different for each person, as well as what you're willing to practice each day, or honestly how much time you actually want to put into getting better. I do realize in many cases, there is no getting better, that it's just a matter of enduring whatever the illness is. But see if you can imagine that even if that is the case, there are many ways you can feel better emotionally, which can sometimes take the focus off of your illness. And for me, I am all for taking the focus off in whatever way is possible.
With all the modes of therapy I have tried, and still use today, probably the most valuable one is taking a break from whatever is bothering you the most. Sort of like taking a vacation from work so you can just stop and rest, veg out, look at nature, whatever allows you to shut down for a bit. Like watching television or a movie helps to transport us to another place for a little while, so we can pretend we don't have any problems. Of course when the movie is over, you have to come back to reality, but if you use some other ways to disconnect, you can learn to sort of carry it with you wherever you go, and use it when you need it the most. My favorite is relaxation and guided imagery CD's, where a person is guiding you through some exercises that help you to relax, breathe easier, choose pictures in your mind that are relaxing, as well as using affirmations that help you change the way you think about your pain or illness, as well as how you see yourself in the world.
In other words, ways that calm the body as well as the mind and restore a sense of control over what is happening. No, I didn't say to completely rid the body or magically make it all go away, but rather transform it into something that is more manageable. I know from experience, that it's not always about going to the doctor and getting the next pill or absolute explanation of why something is not working, or more painful, or you aren't getting better. It can be more about accepting the present situation, and looking at it in a different way. Instead of bracing against, or trying to push the pain or discomfort away from you, taking time to see if there is something internally or mindfully that you can do to change the intensity.
Now I realize there are varying degrees of pain and suffering, chronic illness, incurable cancers, I absolutely get that. All must be treated by different doctors, with different modes of therapy, and as I said, some can and do get better, some will not, and others will die. But this is about being with where you are presently, with whatever the situation is, and looking at all your options as far as coping, especially when you have bad days that leave you frustrated, discouraged and have no clue as to how you will get through this one day.
Also take note of your better days, and what may have contributed to those as well. That way you can take note, add or eliminate some activities, foods, people that stress you out that you can choose not to be around, managing medications or whatever therapy you are trying. You'd be amazed at how many things you can eliminate that make your situation worse, or tweak in order to make things better. But you have to start somewhere to keep from getting so easily discouraged. So make your own list.........pay attention the next time you wake up and the day is just too hard to face. I promise.....it will help you feel better.
Now remember, this frame of mind took years for me to grasp, while at the same time incorporating new modes of therapy......basically whatever I could get my hands on. So it's not something you can just tell yourself to get over, and then get over it. It's a daily decision to take note about how you felt the day before, if you slept, and how you are currently feeling. And of course more importantly, what you need to do to get through the day to make it better, or at the very least, ease the pain and suffering. This can be different for each person, as well as what you're willing to practice each day, or honestly how much time you actually want to put into getting better. I do realize in many cases, there is no getting better, that it's just a matter of enduring whatever the illness is. But see if you can imagine that even if that is the case, there are many ways you can feel better emotionally, which can sometimes take the focus off of your illness. And for me, I am all for taking the focus off in whatever way is possible.
With all the modes of therapy I have tried, and still use today, probably the most valuable one is taking a break from whatever is bothering you the most. Sort of like taking a vacation from work so you can just stop and rest, veg out, look at nature, whatever allows you to shut down for a bit. Like watching television or a movie helps to transport us to another place for a little while, so we can pretend we don't have any problems. Of course when the movie is over, you have to come back to reality, but if you use some other ways to disconnect, you can learn to sort of carry it with you wherever you go, and use it when you need it the most. My favorite is relaxation and guided imagery CD's, where a person is guiding you through some exercises that help you to relax, breathe easier, choose pictures in your mind that are relaxing, as well as using affirmations that help you change the way you think about your pain or illness, as well as how you see yourself in the world.
In other words, ways that calm the body as well as the mind and restore a sense of control over what is happening. No, I didn't say to completely rid the body or magically make it all go away, but rather transform it into something that is more manageable. I know from experience, that it's not always about going to the doctor and getting the next pill or absolute explanation of why something is not working, or more painful, or you aren't getting better. It can be more about accepting the present situation, and looking at it in a different way. Instead of bracing against, or trying to push the pain or discomfort away from you, taking time to see if there is something internally or mindfully that you can do to change the intensity.
Now I realize there are varying degrees of pain and suffering, chronic illness, incurable cancers, I absolutely get that. All must be treated by different doctors, with different modes of therapy, and as I said, some can and do get better, some will not, and others will die. But this is about being with where you are presently, with whatever the situation is, and looking at all your options as far as coping, especially when you have bad days that leave you frustrated, discouraged and have no clue as to how you will get through this one day.
Also take note of your better days, and what may have contributed to those as well. That way you can take note, add or eliminate some activities, foods, people that stress you out that you can choose not to be around, managing medications or whatever therapy you are trying. You'd be amazed at how many things you can eliminate that make your situation worse, or tweak in order to make things better. But you have to start somewhere to keep from getting so easily discouraged. So make your own list.........pay attention the next time you wake up and the day is just too hard to face. I promise.....it will help you feel better.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Changing Focus
So how does one change focus when your body demands attention throughout the day because of unrelenting pain? Well I can share some words of wisdom now, but trust me, years ago it was simply that.....unrelenting pain. Mine started with the neck, probably from two separate falls, and not getting any help for years. I won't dwell on the why I didn't, I just didn't. Fifteen years go by, with me sitting in the leaned back position, until a doctor finally realized it was not really safe for me to not be able to hold up my head. Thank God. Though I will say this, especially if anyone is contemplating having neck surgery, that you have to come to some hard conclusions once you have it, and that is, any surgery especially on the spine, might fix the problem, but it often takes a couple of years if not more for it to all settle down. And when you think about it, it makes sense, but when you're in the midst of it, it just brings on frustration, more pain, aggravation, topped with a dose of orneriness. There is no pass go with the healing of neck surgery.....it's just not going to happen.
What is left is the realization that time and patience become your friend as well as your healer. All you can do is try very hard to understand that healing takes time, most often a very long time, and that has to be OK at some point. Either that or lose your mind and peace in the meantime,which only bleeds into the rest of your life and makes everything miserable, not to mention making those around you miserable as well. I wish I had known early on, that yes, what was going on was a major problem and aggravation, but that if I stopped for a moment and took the focus off of the pain, I might be able to see that many lessons could be learned in the midst of it all. And trust me I know full well when you're in pain all you want is for it to go away.....period. You're not really interested in how you need to "be" in the midst of it, you just want it to stop.
Of course reflecting back on my journey, which continues to evolve, I'm glad and feel very fortunate that I had people around me that helped me realize there was much to learn about my body, how my body dealt with pain, how I did'n't have to let it consume me, and even help others on the worst and painful days. It's sort of like being hungry, knowing you need to eat, and deciding the best thing for you to eat, and that would satisfy you as well. You have a choice of eating something that is good for you, that will build strength and energy and heal your body, or having something that is not healthy, loaded with fat and calories with no benefits at all except to satisfy the hunger.
So you have to stop and think about your body and mind as a whole, not something separate. Not to think of your pain as just an attacker, where you have no power or control over how it consumes every part of you, but something you can transform and use, no matter how limited you are. You can also see the pain the way you see your heart. It's fragile, needs comforting, loving, understanding, and compassion. Your heart doesn't mean to be so fragile, it just is, and every other part of your body is as well. So instead of fighting it, pushing it away, or being angry at it, just learn how to be with it in a different way. Doesn't magically make it go away, though sometimes it can lessen the severity, and just fosters a feeling of acceptance and gentleness.
I think by just describing the pain by using different words, kinder words, more understanding words, it automatically changes the way you see and feel the pain. Pain is not the enemy in your body, it's a sign that something is not right. So find out why you are in pain, and then use the tools to at least try to get some relief, and then what's left over, just simply befriend it. I mean honestly, what else is there to do? Be miserable while you're here, and fight with it, or open up to it and understand how your mind can be a part of your healing. God did not put us here to simply suffer, but to learn something in the midst of the suffering. To use it in someway to help someone else. Taking the focus off of your pain, helps lessen the severity.
What is left is the realization that time and patience become your friend as well as your healer. All you can do is try very hard to understand that healing takes time, most often a very long time, and that has to be OK at some point. Either that or lose your mind and peace in the meantime,which only bleeds into the rest of your life and makes everything miserable, not to mention making those around you miserable as well. I wish I had known early on, that yes, what was going on was a major problem and aggravation, but that if I stopped for a moment and took the focus off of the pain, I might be able to see that many lessons could be learned in the midst of it all. And trust me I know full well when you're in pain all you want is for it to go away.....period. You're not really interested in how you need to "be" in the midst of it, you just want it to stop.
Of course reflecting back on my journey, which continues to evolve, I'm glad and feel very fortunate that I had people around me that helped me realize there was much to learn about my body, how my body dealt with pain, how I did'n't have to let it consume me, and even help others on the worst and painful days. It's sort of like being hungry, knowing you need to eat, and deciding the best thing for you to eat, and that would satisfy you as well. You have a choice of eating something that is good for you, that will build strength and energy and heal your body, or having something that is not healthy, loaded with fat and calories with no benefits at all except to satisfy the hunger.
So you have to stop and think about your body and mind as a whole, not something separate. Not to think of your pain as just an attacker, where you have no power or control over how it consumes every part of you, but something you can transform and use, no matter how limited you are. You can also see the pain the way you see your heart. It's fragile, needs comforting, loving, understanding, and compassion. Your heart doesn't mean to be so fragile, it just is, and every other part of your body is as well. So instead of fighting it, pushing it away, or being angry at it, just learn how to be with it in a different way. Doesn't magically make it go away, though sometimes it can lessen the severity, and just fosters a feeling of acceptance and gentleness.
I think by just describing the pain by using different words, kinder words, more understanding words, it automatically changes the way you see and feel the pain. Pain is not the enemy in your body, it's a sign that something is not right. So find out why you are in pain, and then use the tools to at least try to get some relief, and then what's left over, just simply befriend it. I mean honestly, what else is there to do? Be miserable while you're here, and fight with it, or open up to it and understand how your mind can be a part of your healing. God did not put us here to simply suffer, but to learn something in the midst of the suffering. To use it in someway to help someone else. Taking the focus off of your pain, helps lessen the severity.
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