Bad Days

I know...I hate to even write those words, but if I'm going to attempt to help others incorporate coping skills to deal with pain and suffering, then I feel I must also be helpful on those days when nothing helps, and it's just you and your suffering. Of course realizing that physical suffering comes in many ways including the emotional wear and tear, which often can far outweigh the physical. Something happens to the mind when the body has been compromised, plain and simple. I was going to elaborate there, but I can't. And for those who are reading this and are suffering physically, then you know exactly why I can't, for it's beyond explanation, so I will leave it at that. Just suffice it to say, on my worst days, it has felt like I was a dog in a dried up ditch, left for dead. That's pretty sad, but it's the truth. I have absolutely nothing to offer up to anyone, and often not sure if I ever will again because the body is completely overwhelmed by my condition.

On those unfortunate bad days, I feel like I need a guide attached to my belt to drag me around and get the simple things done for the day. The mind goes into a vegetative state, and I'm hoping that no one calls or comes to my door for any reason, for nothing would come out of my mouth except some foreign gibberish. My body is on a timer, with very little time to work with, where an alarm could go off at any moment, sending me back to bed, which I fight as long as I can, but in the end the body and the bed wins. Defeated.

I immediately start gathering those things I can do in bed, hoping that throughout the day I would be able to accomplish something, if only a few encouraging emails for others who are having trouble. Carefully choosing different books, journals, CD's,.......whatever will keep my mind busy while I spend the day in bed. Take into consideration this is not how I prefer to spend my day, but how my body needs to spend the day. I guess the most important part of this whole thing is allowing my body to do whatever it needs to do in order to feel better, just for that day. Doesn't mean it has to be the same the next day...or even next week......but for today, this is what I need to do for myself.

The point is......the most important part of dealing with a physical condition, especially where pain is involved, is to simply allow your body to be how it needs to be. If you're doing all you can, pulling out the arsenal of gadgets, pills, books, creams, whatever, and there is no real relief, then you simply have to be OK with stopping for that day. Hopefully tomorrow will be different, but for today, this is how I need to nurture and care for my body. There is no need to figure out why, for trying to figure out makes the situation worse......but just be with the bad day...period. You don't have to explain why to anyone, especially yourself, or frantically try to fix it, or get down about it. Sometimes pain is just that.....pain, and the only thing you can do it minimize it without beating yourself up about it. Or allowing those around you to question or judge how you choose to deal with it. Sometime those around us, even those that love us the most question how we deal with a physical condition.

So the next time you are faced with a bad day, where you can barely find your way around your house, just stop and see what your body needs you to do, then do it. Let go of expectations, shut the phone off, gather those things that make you feel better emotionally, take a deep breath and just stop and be kind to your body for the day. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but if it's not, then decide when it comes what you can do to make it more manageable.