So how does one change focus when your body demands attention throughout the day because of unrelenting pain? Well I can share some words of wisdom now, but trust me, years ago it was simply that.....unrelenting pain. Mine started with the neck, probably from two separate falls, and not getting any help for years. I won't dwell on the why I didn't, I just didn't. Fifteen years go by, with me sitting in the leaned back position, until a doctor finally realized it was not really safe for me to not be able to hold up my head. Thank God. Though I will say this, especially if anyone is contemplating having neck surgery, that you have to come to some hard conclusions once you have it, and that is, any surgery especially on the spine, might fix the problem, but it often takes a couple of years if not more for it to all settle down. And when you think about it, it makes sense, but when you're in the midst of it, it just brings on frustration, more pain, aggravation, topped with a dose of orneriness. There is no pass go with the healing of neck surgery.....it's just not going to happen.
What is left is the realization that time and patience become your friend as well as your healer. All you can do is try very hard to understand that healing takes time, most often a very long time, and that has to be OK at some point. Either that or lose your mind and peace in the meantime,which only bleeds into the rest of your life and makes everything miserable, not to mention making those around you miserable as well. I wish I had known early on, that yes, what was going on was a major problem and aggravation, but that if I stopped for a moment and took the focus off of the pain, I might be able to see that many lessons could be learned in the midst of it all. And trust me I know full well when you're in pain all you want is for it to go away.....period. You're not really interested in how you need to "be" in the midst of it, you just want it to stop.
Of course reflecting back on my journey, which continues to evolve, I'm glad and feel very fortunate that I had people around me that helped me realize there was much to learn about my body, how my body dealt with pain, how I did'n't have to let it consume me, and even help others on the worst and painful days. It's sort of like being hungry, knowing you need to eat, and deciding the best thing for you to eat, and that would satisfy you as well. You have a choice of eating something that is good for you, that will build strength and energy and heal your body, or having something that is not healthy, loaded with fat and calories with no benefits at all except to satisfy the hunger.
So you have to stop and think about your body and mind as a whole, not something separate. Not to think of your pain as just an attacker, where you have no power or control over how it consumes every part of you, but something you can transform and use, no matter how limited you are. You can also see the pain the way you see your heart. It's fragile, needs comforting, loving, understanding, and compassion. Your heart doesn't mean to be so fragile, it just is, and every other part of your body is as well. So instead of fighting it, pushing it away, or being angry at it, just learn how to be with it in a different way. Doesn't magically make it go away, though sometimes it can lessen the severity, and just fosters a feeling of acceptance and gentleness.
I think by just describing the pain by using different words, kinder words, more understanding words, it automatically changes the way you see and feel the pain. Pain is not the enemy in your body, it's a sign that something is not right. So find out why you are in pain, and then use the tools to at least try to get some relief, and then what's left over, just simply befriend it. I mean honestly, what else is there to do? Be miserable while you're here, and fight with it, or open up to it and understand how your mind can be a part of your healing. God did not put us here to simply suffer, but to learn something in the midst of the suffering. To use it in someway to help someone else. Taking the focus off of your pain, helps lessen the severity.
