Two words come to mind.......strive and try. Let's ask Webster. Strive.....to make great efforts to achieve or or obtain something. Try......make an attempt to do something. Now for me......it's seems easier for me to achieve or obtain than it is to do something. Probably because the doing requires a level of physical strength....of pushing to get somewhere....to force a change of some kind. Making an effort to gain or achieve something conjures up the attempts to change or understand something in a different way. In other words shifting my attitude or thought pattern, simply because the one that I have is no longer working for me. Now I don't have to go into detail about what I am attempting to change here......just suffice it to say I feel very fortunate that I have the time to notice something that in fact requires change of mind....change of attitude and I'm willing to or "striving" to change it. Doesn't require me to run around trying or doing anything, in fact I'm tickled some days that I am limited in my ability to do, because it forces me to figure out other ways in which to change.
In other words, if I had a choice....I would rather spend my energy noticing and changing something within myself, than spinning my wheels trying to change something or someone around me. WHEW.......there went another brick off my shoulder. Sometimes I think what will heal my body and mind is simply having these precious moments of revelation, frantically in search of my pen so I can write down what I need to work on for that day. If anyone out there wonders what I do with my days, since I don't get in my car and have a regular job, well hop on board. Are my thoughts profound, ground breaking, mind blowing...etc.......no...probably not. But when you've been put into an arena with others who suffer from chronic pain and are limited physically, then any moments of revelation that could help someone else get through a day of suffering is at least being productive. And if I have learned one thing, it's not about my "stuff"......it's how I can use that stuff to help someone else.
So.....how do I get through "this day"? I ask questions........sometimes one.....sometimes 20. It sort of narrows things down to the bear bones.......past the meat that covers it up........bear bones. Now at 40...I could dance around it......50.....still pretty good at it.......but at 60.......it's time to simply stop and face whatever it is head on. I never know how much time I have left in this world, and honestly would like to leave something behind that might be helpful to someone else. So these questions are about what needs to be done, and how I might go about offering myself each day. And more importantly.....if I in fact want to offer myself.....what needs to be cleaned off my plate in order to do that.
On my plate.......ha.....another good title. Each one of us has a plate with different things from one day to the next. You wake up with them and go to bed with them each day, and you either "try" to make them disappear by getting as busy as possible so you don't have to think about them......or you strive to ask the right questions that will allow you to think about the things you can change within yourself.......therefore presenting yourself to the world the way you would really like to. Of course you have to decide how you want to put yourself out there. Yes.....it's easy for those that have no limitations.....you get up....you get dressed....you eat....you drive to work.....you work all day...you go play....then you go home and start over. You have a job.....you earn this much money....you owe this much money....you get on the merry go round to see how you compare with others.........then the next day begins. All this without really thinking how you presented the real you. Did you simply follow the pack, get into complete work mode without asking one question about how you might like to present yourself that day, or did you take time to change an attitude that you feel in your gut is time for change?
In other words.....are you thinking at all? Are you simply content with who you are as a person and you feel there is no need for growth in any area of your thinking process? Do you ever wonder what someone else is going through, which is often more horrendous than anything you might be experiencing? Do you say anything to build someone up.....or are you more content and comfortable tearing someone down?
OK.....so on "this day" for me.....what can I strive to do differently? I will leave my antenna up all the way so I can be more aware of what is going on around me. I will make eye contact with each person I pass in the store or street and smile, whether they are smiling or not. I will say something uplifting to someone who seems to be hurting in some way either physically or emotionally. I will, if I can, assist someone that needs help. If you simply take the one suggestion about smiling, it explains it all. Do I just complain that no one smiles, or do I strive to change something within myself so that I can offer the thing that might help someone.....just to be noticed in a crowd of people who are too busy to notice anything.
So.....this day.....what will I do?
