I think for most of us, there is little change from one day to the next. You wake up at the same time, go through your morning rituals, and either go off to a job, or have something written in your calendar for that day. But, do you ever wonder what will transpire any given day, who will be affected, or more importantly how you will be involved in a particular incident? I don't know....maybe I have too much time on my hands because I'm pretty much house bound, so I look for ways to see the world differently each day....which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing........as I usually remark.......it just is.
I wonder what would happen, or how the world would change if we all got out of bed wondering, or contemplating how the day would unfold, and expected something good to happen, as opposed to something that was likely to irritate you to the max. Now this is not me saying that bad things are not going to happen if you walk around with a smile plastered on your face. If you've read enough of my blogs, you already know how I feel about suffering. God said you WILL suffer......he just didn't say specifially how you would suffer.......just that you would. So how I expect anyone to walk around with hope or a positive attitude knowing there's a cloud that coming this way? Well, if you know its up there, and you know there is always a chance of it coming this way, and actually landing right above your head as opposed to someone elses, then hopefully you can prepare for those days.
I don't know from one day to the next how my body is going to react to anything, if my battery is low, needs to be charged, or just flat out dead. So for me, it's hard to plan anything, however..........oh Lord......here comes the however again..........However......I can plan what sort of attitude I'm going to have for that day, no matter what happens. Is it easier for me because I already know that once my head is off the pillow, I don't have to get out into "the world"? That I can stay safely tucked away in my apartment with seemingly no stress? Well...it might look that way, but until you've been slapped with a chronic illness, and understand it's daily life, you could very easily choose to face the world and all it has to offer. Hard choice I know.
So, if you know you're suceptable to suffering, and know the world can be a bear, and you know that you don't really wish you were sick.......how can you see yourself changing the way you face the world each day? And keep in mind that anytime you change something about yourself, its going to affect someone around you in either a positive or negative way........let's stick with the positive for now. Ask yourself these questions:
Do have a tendency to be positive or negative when I raise my head off the pillow in the morning?
Do I start to worry when my eyes pop open?
Do I dread getting up and facing the world? If so, why?
Is there something about yourself that you KNOW you need to address, but would rather cut off your little toe than to deal with it?
What do you think would happen if you clearly saw yourself in the mirror, and said.....no more......something has got to change, and I have the power to change it?
Do you know in your gut that you need to say NO to something or someone, but afraid they will reject you, leave you, hurt you, or just simply having fear of the unknown?
Are there things that you can change that will make your illness, if you have one, easier to cope with?
Are you busy taking care of how others feel about your illness, instead of the illness itself?
Do you beat yourself up because you're sick?
OK.....these are just a few to get you started, though I have a feeling once you get your list going, more will come. Like if you build it, they will come? But, how can you expect anything different to happen, if you don't take the time to really ask yourself some questions each day? Change comes because you've taken the time to think, contemplate, and work through things in your head that are not right, not healthy, not gentle or kind to self. If you are sick, in pain, suffering physically...etc..or not sick at all.....just not happy...........your day and how you view your day will only remain under a cloud unless you start thinking. And thinking is a good thing.....it only turns bad when you start to get into self condemnation and guilt over stuff you can't do anything about, or things you believe you've done in the past.
So for me, today seems different. It's not perfect, and my physical stuff has not miraculously melted away, but my mind is clear, and I am choosing peace and joy today as opposed to wondering what the cloud will bring if and when it comes. I remember.....this too shall pass. No matter what it is......I will get through it believing that is how God arranged it all to be.
