Not an easy thing to do for any of us because of jobs, family, obligations......or one of my favorites...guilt. You know the thing about guilt is, unless you express it to someone, you're the only one that carries it. It's like a well kept secret that keeps us from fully living the life we want to lead. Now if you want to, or don't want to do something because of a really good reason, or what you deem to be a really good reason, then thats understandable, but when you step into the area of not deserving something, or constantly comparing yourself to those around you and what they are doing with their life, then you're pretty much spinning your wheels and ultimately get nothing done for yourself or those around you.
I'm a giver....I love to give...love to listen..love to live a slow enough life that I notice people struggling........I love to nurture those around me, but I have to take care of my physical needs before I can do that, as well as doing it in a way that doesn't leave me completely depleted. From the outside it may seem that I don't contribute very much at all, but I've learned lately to let go of the one's that sit in the judges seat. If there's one thing I have come to realize in this life, it's that you don't really and truly know a person until you've walked in their shoes, so until you can do that, try to make an effort to, if anything, give the person the benefit of the doubt and trust they are doing the best they know how. Of course that leads to what is really important.... am I doing the best that I can, is my intent genuine, and purposefully ask myself that question daily, trying at the same time to release myself from trying so desperately to live up to someone else's standards.
So....with all that being said....when, where, and how do we decide it's time to step away, and more importantly, what does that mean for you? I suppose it has to do with your own personal life and what you experience day to day. Is there physical pain that you need a break from, emotional pain, or simply recognizing that you have in fact gotten caught up in life's pace which in my personal opinion, is completely and utterly out of control. I see people saying yes to things, and it's usually never because they really want to do something, but because if they don't do it, the guilt sets in, or because of someone else's expectations, or that they are trying desperately to cover up something like pain, loss, suffering, loneliness, rejection....etc. Now I completely understand all these reasons, I've experienced them myself at some point, but when the stress of all of the "trying to keep up" starts to affect the body, then that's where I put on the brakes. I also learned that no one is going to walk in my door and suggest I take a break, so if I want to take one, I have to see it as a gift to myself, and if I don't step away in some way, I won't be able to do those things that mean the most to me.
Stepping away is a gift to self......which in turn will benefit those around us. I cannot spend precious moments with my granddaughter Olivia unless I take care of myself...period. And I found out it's not enough to hide away in my apartment resting and saying no to activities, waiting to feel better and stronger. I had to step away from the busyness that surrounds me, and flipping my switch off instead of on. It makes you appreciate what you have when you return, changes your outlook, and more importantly allows your weary body to just stop and rest. I don't think anyone really understands what it does to their body to go non- stop day after day, week after week, month after month. It all seems responsible, and may keep you from thinking too much about the pain or hurt you're experiencing, but will only start to break you down in so many ways physically....and some of those ways once you lose, you can't regain. And besides......the world will not stop revolving, nor will those around you stop functioning if you step away for a few days. And if you can't go away.......stay in your own space, unplug the television, your phone, and put a sign on your door that you're on vacation.
My recent experience in stepping away didn't take my physical pain away.......but allowing myself to go brain dead helped more than I can ever express. I allowed my shoulds, coulds, why's and when's to evaporate. Even with those I love more than anything in the world, I set aside. And you know what.....it's ok. Did I come back to a perfect world with no problems....of course not. But at least I can say I stepped off the merry go round, or from watching my loved ones caught up in the pace, to take care of me so I can better help or take care of them.
So think about it and truly see that the world will not come to an end if you simply step away. As well.....you won't explode or lose your mind if you disconnect. You might have to look at some things about yourself, or allow some painful emotions to rise up......but you know what........that's a GOOD thing. It clears the way for new things to come. It's a healthy thing to do for your physical well being, especially if you're challenged daily with a chronic illness that beats you down on a regular basis.
Good luck......hope it gets you thinking already about what your stepping away will look like!
