Easily Discouraged

One of the most difficult things about dealing with a chronic illness is getting easily discouraged on those bad days when you wake up and can tell things are going to be off a bit......well maybe more than usual. Sleep is a huge issue for me, or the lack there of, the weather, what I did the day before, or something new that's come up in my life. For me, it's usually all of the above, but I have to say it doesn't happen every single day. More like varying degrees I suppose where I never know when it's going to hit. But one of the most important lessons I learned years ago was, even with those off days, and I require a little more care, I try not to get discouraged thinking that it's going to last a long time. Now granted, I have had my times, as I'm sure you all have, where it did run into a bad flareup of some kind, and it would take time to get over, but even then I would try to not dwell on why it happened or how long it would take to recover.

Now remember, this frame of mind took years for me to grasp, while at the same time incorporating new modes of therapy......basically whatever I could get my hands on. So it's not something you can just tell yourself to get over, and then get over it. It's a daily decision to take note about how you felt the day before, if you slept, and how you are currently feeling. And of course more importantly, what you need to do to get through the day to make it better, or at the very least, ease the pain and suffering. This can be different for each person, as well as what you're willing to practice each day, or honestly how much time you actually want to put into getting better. I do realize in many cases, there is no getting better, that it's just a matter of enduring whatever the illness is. But see if you can imagine that even if that is the case, there are many ways you can feel better emotionally, which can sometimes take the focus off of your illness. And for me, I am all for taking the focus off in whatever way is possible.

With all the modes of therapy I have tried, and still use today, probably the most valuable one is taking a break from whatever is bothering you the most. Sort of like taking a vacation from work so you can just stop and rest, veg out, look at nature, whatever allows you to shut down for a bit.  Like watching television or a movie helps to transport us to another place for a little while, so we can pretend we don't have any problems. Of course when the movie is over, you have to come back to reality, but if you use some other ways to disconnect, you can learn to sort of carry it with you wherever you go, and use it when you need it the most. My favorite is relaxation and guided imagery CD's, where a person is guiding you through some exercises that help you to relax, breathe easier, choose pictures in your mind that are relaxing, as well as using affirmations that help you change the way you think about your pain or illness, as well as how you see yourself in the world.

In other words, ways that calm the body as well as the mind and restore a sense of control over what is happening. No, I didn't say to completely rid the body or magically make it all go away, but rather transform it into something that is more manageable. I know from experience, that it's not always about going to the doctor and getting the next pill or absolute explanation of why something is not working, or more painful, or you aren't getting better. It can be more about accepting the present situation, and looking at it in a different way. Instead of bracing against, or trying to push the pain or discomfort away from you, taking time to see if there is something internally or mindfully that you can do to change the intensity.

Now I realize there are varying degrees of pain and suffering, chronic illness, incurable cancers, I absolutely get that. All must be treated by different doctors, with different modes of therapy, and as I said, some can and do get better, some will not, and others will die. But this is about being with where you are presently, with whatever the situation is, and looking at all your options as far as coping, especially when you have bad days that leave you frustrated, discouraged and have no clue as to how you will get through this one day.

Also take note of your better days, and what may have contributed to those as well. That way you can take note, add or eliminate some activities, foods, people that stress you out that you can choose not to be around, managing medications or whatever therapy you are trying. You'd be amazed at how many things you can eliminate that make your situation worse, or tweak in order to make things better. But you have to start somewhere to keep from getting so easily discouraged. So make your own list.........pay attention the next time you wake up and the day is just too hard to face. I promise.....it will help you feel better.