Embracing the Unknown

I believe the opposite of living in fear, is embracing the unknown, and no matter what anyone says about how unrealistic that may sound, it is still healthier than living in fear. Now actually believing that and practicing that can be two totally different things unfortunately. I wish that I could tell you it only took a few days, weeks, or months to discover it, but in fact it took several years. It's not something that you just wake up one morning and have, or realize.......but something that requires a great understanding of not only what we fear....but why we fear it.

You would think most of the fear would stem from realizing how vulnerable we all are out here in space, slowly turning with one thing that holds us all to the ground.....gravity. I didn't really think about it that much until television pictures started coming back from photo's taken inside a window in the space station years ago. I saw what the atronauts saw.....which was earth, out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing underneath it to keep it from falling. What an eiry feeling that was. I started to think about it so much so, that it actually began to make me wonder, why in the world I would fret and worry about everyday things in my life, or fear them rather, when I'm held to this earth by one thing...gravity. If there were none, I'd be falling out into space. Now thats something to fear. And no matter your beliefs about how we ended up on this earth, there is always room to question......why am I here, and how long do I have?

Silly I suppose to many, for most of us never take a moment to wonder how we got here, how long we'll last, or more importantly, how we're suppose to spend our time while we're here. Good questions for all of us, but not exactly why I chose to write this particular post. I want to talk about fear and how it can be transformed into something much different. Something that doesn't have a tendency to restle us to the ground, stomp our guts out, leaving us in a dazed state.....because in all truth, thats what fear does. You can try your best to hide it, avoid it, or completely deny that it exists in your life, but honestly I believe we all live with it at some level.

There are many forms of fear. Fear of self, fear of others, fear of illness, fear of death, fear of losing someone we love, or my own personal favorite......fear of losing control. Of course aren't we all under the misapprehension that we have any control at all? Absolutely. We do in fact have the ability to make choices in life, but ultimately, we are always a few feet away from the next atomic bomb, natural disaster, illness, or losing those we love. And you can press your feet to the floor thinking you can stop it, but after a while you'll see it only steals your energy, strength and more importantly....your peace of mind.

With all this said, what does it take to transform our fear into something we can actually live with, accept, or........embrace, leaving behind the need to question why and begin to understand, why not? For all any of us seem to think is, that if there is an answer to our why, then that will make everything right. I'm sorry to say..... this is not the case......and it's the hardest part of learning to embrace the unknown.

So what is the secret? Is it spiritual, meditative or what many would see as the latest psycho-babble. For myself, its a combination of practices, but more importantly it stems from the understanding that trying to live in the past with should have's or could have's, or living in the future with the what if's will compromise the present. I believe the hardest thing for people to understand is, in this life, you are not allowed to go back and change what's already been done, no matter how much you think you can, it won't happen. It's not possible, though in our minds sometimes we think if we believe it hard enough....it will happen. As well, being focused on what might happen in the future, or how we can find that sense of control that could possibly deminish our fear. If there are two places in this world where we have to recognize a lack of control, this is where we need to start. But how do we do it?

I mentioned a combination of practices that worked for me to keep me in the present and whether I depend on my spiritual beliefs to guide me or I discover therapeutic ways in which to cope, the good news is......there are ways in which to live with the unknown. That in fact is the only real control you have in this life........to find what works for you. To find ways in which to be happy and content with being in this moment instead of dwelling in the past or bracing yourself for the future. You can continue to figure out why this, or what if that......but it won't get you anywhere, and if you are emotionally or physically ill......it will only magnify what you're experiencing already.

Bottom line.....it's ok to "not know" things, or to not understand anything that goes on in this life. We weren't put on this earth to understand everything, but to experience everything. What's not ok is feeling defeated or beaten down by the inability to not understand or thinking we should. With all my illness issues, and for all the years I lived with not knowing clearly or understanding what was happening to me physically......it really didn't matter. Even if there is a clear label to what someone has, it doesn't necessarily bring with it an understanding or reason why they have it.....for sometimes if not all the time.......there is no reason. It just is, and finally for me........that is ok.