"Revelations"


I love this word. Webster's take......the making known of something that was previously secret or unknown. Now to me it doesn't matter whether it was a secret or not yet known......what's important is that it's known now, and anything that is made known and clear is wonderful. Almost like finding a diagnosis that has been lingering for years, and now the puzzle fits together and it all makes sense. Most people would see that as horrible, but for those of us who have been suffering for a long time, and with no clear reason as to why, it can make all the difference in the world. Mainly because when you're searching for the answers, and they keep slipping through your fingers, those around you, and sometimes even you, will slip into the mindset of........well....it's in her head...or she really doesn't want to get well......or she is just stuck, lazy.......and that's the short list.

Sometimes I wish, and have for some time, that someone could touch me and immediately feel the level of physical pain I experience at any given moment, just to see what it would be like. I'm sure before attempting this, they would have these preconceived notions about how it would feel, and that surely it would not be as bad as all that. I love that phrase.....as bad as all that. It's so interesting how we think we understand something based on no real experience, but feel qualified to give an accurate opinion. What an injustice that is. Almost as bad as deciding someone is guilty before you've had a trial.

This is the world of the sick. Another planet in which people are set apart because they are different, afflicted, lame, broken or weak. They are non-humans because their bodies can't work properly, and most often through no fault of their own. Like my body, it was passed onto me from both sides of my family. A little gene that just keeps hanging on that permeates the body and begins very slowly to tear it down, and then in time, full speed ahead until you can hardly remember what normal felt like. And it doesn't matter what you do.....how you do it...what you eat...where you live...who you're around, or what sort of attitude you have, it shows up quietly one day and never leaves.

We are a minority. Questioned, judged, rediculed, pitied, and most often left alone to suffer debilitating illnesses. Forced to quit our jobs, leave our homes, have family members think we're crazy, and stripped of  being able to participate in many things that used to bring us joy, and honestly defined who we were as a person. That person is now gone, with bystanders scratching their heads saying......"I don't get it." Oh how I love the word.....revelation.